The Dog Did What??

About a year ago, this headline appeared in our local paper in the wedding section: “Dog Decorates Groom’s Cake”

Now, if you’ve ever had a dog, especially a male, you know that they gladly ‘decorate’ anything they come across — a tree, a piano, even a small child.  So, of course, this is the first thing that went through my mind when I read the headline.  On closer inspection, however, I learned that a likeness of the dog was featured on the groom’s cake.  I think it was a Rottweiler or Pit Bull named Killer, or Kujo, or Diesel or something.  Oh yeah, they named the dog in the article.  We actually cut this out and mailed it to Jay Leno for his ‘Headlines’ feature, but we never caught it on his show.

But upon further reflection, I have to ask these two questions…

1.  Why would this guy have his dog on the groom’s cake??   Well, that answer would be pretty obvious if you lived in the redneck cultural center of the universe, like I do.  The groom’s cake is kind of that last statement of manhood before having to be bossed around by a woman, I guess.  Last one I saw featured a Caterpillar tractor (the groom’s employer).

But here’s the next question…

2.  Why would the newspaper feature this as the headline for the wedding announcement??   Do we no longer have a ‘Society Editor’  who ordains the proper etiquette for wedding announcements?  I guess not. What happened to ‘Smith and Jones Wed in Garden Ceremony?’   Only if the dogs can be the ring-bearers.

Oh well.  I should be thankful they’re actually getting married.  Meanwhile, maybe I’ll send my Chihuahua to school to become a pastry chef…

Copyright 2010 Mary E. Egidio.  Permission is granted to share this work with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.  (You can share this, but tell folks who wrote it, where you found it, and don’t sell it)

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Diane on June 29, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    May I? I started as Society Editor at the Bradford PA. Era in March 1978. First thing we did was change from Society to “Lifestyles” pages. 30 years later after I had done a few million other jobs, the Era asked me to come back part-time to do Lifestyles.

    What a change in … lots of things.

    So no, there are no longer “Society” editors. There is no longer even “proper etiquette.”

    Most of the couples I now write weddings for are already living together. Many of THEM have their children (yes, biological offspring of the pair of them) as ringbearers, flower girls, ushers, best men, honor attendants etc.

    And dogs are increasingly part of the ceremony. Just this week was the story of a couple, yuppies who live in NYC, who had a very posh outdoor ceremony. The bridesmaids wore shades of gray and carried yellow tulips. The flower girl was, (and I quote), “Andi, the couple’s dog, who wore a wreath of yellow tulips around her neck and was escorted down the aisle by” a woman.

    Last summer, one couple also had a posh ceremony at a California vineyard. I called them because they did not include the town of residence for their ringbearer “Burton Ernie” (the name should have been my first clue, right?) You got it, Burt was their dog. And he wore a tuxedo for the wedding.

    We have groom’s cakes here, too, but the most notable wedding cake of recent memory was one for a state trooper and his bride. The cake was made to look like a mountain with trees, wild game figures and hunter figures. I believe his Lab was in the wedding party, too.

    Now that the “event” has more meaning than the idea of a lifetime commitment made before God and witnesses, anything goes.

    So, headlines just reflect the priorities of the couple….

    One bride complained that I did not include the fact that a belly dancer entertained during the reception. It was this woman’s second marriage and second blow-out wedding. The first one occurred on Dec. 31, 1999 so the reception could be held at the start of the new millennium, thus requiring family and friends to spend this rare event at a reception in Mardi Gras masks with plumes for a marriage that failed after the husband pistol-whipped her. (Trust me, dealing with her attitude about the second wedding write-up, there were times I considered a pistol….) This wedding, she sang to her groom “At Last my Love has arrived” as he walked down the aisle; he recited a poem about her as part of the ceremony.

    Last month was a couple who got married on the beach in Costa Rica in November (but they didn’t submit the wedding information until May — go figure.) In the photo of the happy couple, there was a herd of cows filing into the ocean behind them. They insisted that they wanted ALL the cows in the photo, too.

    I could go on, but you get the idea.

    If I were the Empress of wedding announcements, I would have the following curmudgeonly rules:

    1. If you are getting married after living together for years and have your biological children as attendants, then you don’t get a big write-up complete with photo. You get a small two-sentence paragraph with the headline something like:” Smith and Jones make it legal.”

    2. If it’s a second wedding for both the bride and groom, you also get a one-paragraph story with the headline like: “Smith and Jones try it again.”

    3. If you have more than four bridal attendants, that is not a wedding — that is a parade. (Highest count I had was a wedding with nine bridesmaids and nine groomsmen, two ringbearers and four flower girls.)

    4. If you are so young that your ideal honeymoon is a week-long trip to Disney World, don’t get married at all. (I am willing to bend on this one, but….)

    Now, before you protest, remember that I am David’s second wife. I had a wedding write-up in the paper, too. I had three three bridal attendants, three groomsmen and a ringbearer.

    Consider also that I just received a “Save the date” card (horrid invention) for my only niece’s wedding in September. She is a horse-lover marrying a farrier. The card was a punch-out brown cowboy hat. The wording was: “>>> and >>>> are gettin’ hitched. Yeehaw!”

    I could not make this stuff up.
    LOL
    Diane

    Reply

  2. I hope that we are among friends here.

    Diane’s comments beg the issue, is there a causal effect between the waning of printed “news”papers and waning content quality? The answer is at least two-fold: (a) people buy newspapers if there is a chance that their name, group, etc. is mentioned; and (b) by observation, the on-line media surely are not causing the content quality to wax.

    So, what has been lost is the gatekeeper role of the society editor. Why did the role change? I would suggest because there are few absolutes in most American’s opinions…the 10 Commandments and Founding Father’s interpretation of the Constitution not withstanding. By accepting relative standards, well-greased slopes appear everywhere.

    But, for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. Therefore, look for the next generation of media to have a segment that is of the more refined taste. One will arise as soon as someone figures out how to provide it profitably. Would any of my friends pay for a refined, as we define it, “news” feed?

    Ask the question a different way and here’s a test: Facebook is sending up trial balloons to see if they can charge for Facebook. Is our refined news to one another worth a Facebook fee?

    For myself, I have thoroughly enjoyed re-connecting with old friends. They have brightened my evenings and memories: even corrected long held remembrances on quotations. The question for me becomes, “How high is the fee?”

    Reply

    • Deep thoughts, Dan.

      In some areas we’re seeing the pendulum swing back to firmer standards… the popularity of etiquette classes, a return to liturgy in our church, etc. We can only hope…

      I used to tell my kids at dinner, “you won’t be invited to dinner at the White House with manners like that!”

      so… who needs an invite anymore, eh?

      mee 🙂

      Reply

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